All Bets Are Off
by MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld
Summary: Fluffy Jily one-shot centered around a Muggle talent show. Lily's sassy, James is a dork, and there's a bit of unresolved sexual tension.


_October 1976_

It's Monday morning, and James plops down next to Mary at the Gryffindor breakfast table with a cheery, "All right?" to his friends. There's an open seat next to Evans, but that would be too obvious, even for him. Besides, this way he's seated almost across from her, which makes it easier for him to enjoy her face.

It's a _great_ face. And she looks really happy this morning; eyes shining, pink lips curved in a smile, her head nearly touching Remus' shoulder as they read over the colorful piece of paper in his hands. She giggles and says, "That's brilliant," and James feels a slight surge of envy.

He wishes he were the one holding the _brilliant_ paper, so Lily might have a reason to look at him with that much delight.

He gestures at Remus with his fork and hopes he sounds casual. "What's brilliant, then?"

Remus looks up at him with a smile that knows too much. "Here," he says, handing the notice to James.

"_Muggle Talent Show_," James reads, "_A chance to show off your best non-magical skills."_ He wrinkles his nose, and his eyebrows dip below his glasses. "Why bother to do things the Muggle way when we've got magic, though?"

He thinks it's just a question, and a fair one at that, but Evans seems to disagree.

"Why would you want to be entirely beholden to your wand? There's a reason Muggle technology advances faster than wizard tech, you know," she says loftily. "Necessity is the mother of invention."

"Don't get me wrong, Muggles are genius," James agrees, and he means it. "But this isn't about invention, right? From what I've heard, Muggle talent shows are just a bunch of kids singing poorly or doing their own weak imitation of magic, anyway. What's the point?"

He's veering into dangerous territory now, he can see the warning signs, but he barrels ahead anyway. He's not sure why he does it – he actually enjoys doing stuff the Muggle way, because he loves a challenge. (If he didn't, he'd have given up pursuing Evans months ago). Besides, he and Sirius have learned some dead useful skills by studying Muggles, like Morse code and picking locks and building helicopters out of rubber bands and bits of wood and paper clips.

Well, that last isn't useful, maybe. But it's bloody fun.

Regardless, there's something about antagonizing Lily Evans that's hard for him to resist. Until recently, he'd laid off for a bit, mostly because they'd been getting on so well after he apologized for being such a twat last year. But teasing her is when he's most comfortable, and old habits die hard.

He _thinks_ she enjoys their banter, too, most days. But every now and then he pushes too far.

This might be one of those moments, because Evans bristles. "The _point_ is to use your brain once in a while!" she snaps. "And while it may be a 'poor imitation' of magic to you, making it appear you've vanished something when you haven't got a wand actually requires a bit of skill and dexterity."

"If anything, you lot should be embarrassed at how little you can get done without magic," Mary adds, nudging James with her elbow.

James smirks, although he'd have to admit that when it comes to most pureblood wizards, she's absolutely right. "Oh, is that so?" he drawls, and even though it's Mary who spoke last, he ducks his chin to peek at Evans over his glasses.

She lifts her chin haughtily in response. "Very much so. In fact, you should come watch the show. You might learn something."

"I don't need any lessons from you, Evans," he says, even though he wants to say, _I'd let you teach me anything_. He wiggles his eyebrows at her. "I have plenty of talents that don't require magic."

"Snogging doesn't count, Potter," she retorts, and his grin widens.

"You think I'm a talented snogger, eh?"

"No!" She's blushing now, and James loves it, loves to know that he has any effect on her beyond irritation. "I mean, I have no idea."

His shrug is almost nonchalant, but that grin won't leave his face. "Well, that's not what I meant anyway," he says, resting his elbows on the table and wiggling his fingers. "I'm good with my hands. I can build all sorts of Muggle contraptions, and I'm a quite good dancer."

The way she's looking at his hands, he wonders if she had expected another innuendo. But she manages an eyeroll as she says, "Then why don't you enter?"

"Hmm." James puts on a frown and pretends to consider this before shaking his head with a sigh. "No, I shouldn't. Wouldn't want to beat you at your own game, Evans."

A challenging smile quirks Lily's lips. _Good._ James loves that particular smile, because it means she's having as much fun as he is. "You couldn't," she says.

"Bet I could."

"Did I hear someone say bet?" Sirius interrupts, slinging one leg over the bench and seating himself next to Lily. "What are we betting?"

"James thinks he can beat me in a talent show," Lily says, nodding her head in his direction. "Without using magic."

"Ooh, I like this. What are the terms?" Sirius raises an eyebrow and rubs his hands together like a cartoon villain, and Lily laughs.

"It's a figure of speech, Sirius. We're not really betting anything."

"Other than the right to gloat endlessly," James clarifies.

Lily lets out a delicate snort. "As if you need a bet to do that."

"What can I say? I'm good at everything."

"Except humility," Lily retorts. But she can't quite keep the smile off her lips, and James has to laugh.

Sirius, on the other hand, is pouting. "How terribly dull."

"Yeah, that's not a real bet at all," Remus agrees.

"Right, that's what I said. It's not _meant_ to be a real bet," Lily notes, but James is intrigued.

"Oh, yeah?" he asks, looking at Remus and Sirius. "What would _you_ bet, then?"

Remus shrugs. "Ten galleons?"

"Boring! A strip tease," Sirius says, without hesitation.

Just as quickly, James shakes his head. "Too far, mate," he says, frowning, and he hopes his cheeks aren't turning red. Sirius shrugs innocently, but the way he raises is eyebrows at James suggests he thought he was doing him a favor. Lily's cheeks are red, too, and she glares at them both.

Mary makes things only _slightly_ less awkward with her suggestion: "The name of your firstborn?"

"I'm not letting James name any of my children, are you mad?" Lily squeaks. She clears her throat. "You've heard the nicknames he's got for his friends, he can't be trusted."

"Padfoot's an excellent nickname, thank you," James says, and Sirius nods vigorously.

"And Wormtail?" Lily asks, her eyebrows rising. She holds up a hand against further argument. "Regardless, these stakes are too high."

"But you have to bet something worth losing," Sirius says.

"It's a good point, Lil," Mary says, and Lily rolls her eyes.

"Pride is enough," she tries again, but Remus shakes his head.

"As stubborn as you both are, I could _almost_ agree. But like you said, James boasting is a daily occurrence—"

"Oi!"

"—so he hasn't really won anything, and you haven't really lost anything, if that's all you bet for. You're both in the same position as when you started," Remus finishes, ignoring James' wounded yelp.

Lily sighs. "Fine, how about _five _galleons?"

"No, Sirius is right," Remus says. "Money is boring. It's got to be something you'll both remember."

"Well, what do you suggest then? I won't sign on for public humiliation. And it has to be something that can be completed within…a week, let's say. None of these promises regarding future children."

"Right, that's all fair," Sirius says, waving a hand. "We'll come up with something and report back."

"And any terms have to be able to be executed fully clothed!"

"Take all the fun out of it, why don't you," Sirius says, but he grins and bumps Lily with his shoulder as she and Remus get up to go to Ancient Runes.

Lily walks backward away from the table, pointing at Sirius with her eyes narrowed. "I'm trusting you, Black."

"That's your first mistake, isn't it, love?" he calls, and she laughs as she turns and leaves with Remus.

James' eyes linger on her as she exits the Great Hall, then he turns to his best mate. "All right, what have you got in mind?"

"Oh, no," Sirius says, shaking his head. "It's going to be a surprise for you and Evans, both. It's only fair."

"Uh-uh." James shakes his head, too. "I'm not as naïve as Evans, I know better than to trust you."

"And yet you keep finding yourself in situations where you haven't got a choice." Sirius gives him a gleeful smile. "Don't worry. You'll both thank me when it's over."

James just snorts. He can't figure how Sirius plans to make that happen, but he supposes he's all right with him trying.

*.*.*

"I don't actually want to do this," Lily says, just before she goes on stage. "Remind me why I agreed to it, again?"

"Because you'll never let Potter get the last word, that's why. Now get out there and show 'em what you've got!" Mary gives her a little shove, and off she goes.

She hasn't played the violin in years, and she's not sure why she thought a school talent show would be a good moment to pick it back up. But she's here now, and she's spent all week practicing, so – here goes nothing.

With a deep breath, she begins to play the Beatles "Here Comes the Sun." It's awkward at first. She hits a sharp note early and cringes, but soon she finds her groove and is able to enjoy the music. It's such a fun song.

The crowd seems to agree, because when she gets to the first chorus, a few students in the front rows start singing. Her violin is a little too small, a relic of her days in Muggle primary school, but it feels familiar in her hands and it sounds pretty good, honestly. Soon she's smiling, and bobbing a little as she plays, and about half the audience is singing along by the time she finishes. She draws out the last note with a flourish, then curtseys to solid applause and a handful of encouraging cheers.

She's nearly bouncing as she exits the stage. Mary gives her a thumbs up before she takes the stage to show off some impressive yoga poses, including a headstand and one where she wraps her legs behind her back and lets her feet dangle over her shoulders. The McKinnon sisters dance a traditional Irish jig. A seventh-year boy sings Ringo Starr's "You're Sixteen," and, perhaps because it's October, a group of girls performs a dance to "Monster Mash."

And then its Potter's turn.

And this fool, this bloody brilliant _idiot_, takes the stage grinning, hands spread wide. Pedaling a unicycle.

A unicycle_. Who the fuck knows how to ride a _unicycle_?_

James Potter, apparently. He rides forwards and backward the length of the stage, does a spin and waves to the crowd, and Lily's a bit in awe in spite of herself. Even if she does feel like her own performance was far less exciting by comparison.

And as if that weren't enough, James backs into one corner of the stage and begins patting his thighs in a modified drumroll, which the crowd quickly takes up with him. Remus steps onto the stage and sets up a plank parallel to the audience, about five feet long and four inches wide, raised about two feet off the ground. With the audience still drumming away, James pedals steadily towards the plank and then _hops_ his unicycle onto it, riding about three feet along the narrow board before hopping back to the stage. He doesn't even wobble once.

The student body bursts into applause, and Lily sighs as James jumps down from his perch and takes a sweeping bow. He saunters over to Lily, teeth bared, the left side of his mouth just higher than the right.

"Told you," he says, and winks. He actually _winks_. "I'm a man of many talents.'

"Don't let him fool you, Lil, it took him all summer to master that," Remus says, coming over to clap James on the shoulder.

"It's still impressive," she grumbles. "What made you decide to learn the unicycle?"

"Just wanted to know if I could, you know? I saw it on the telly, but I wasn't sure it was actually possible without magic." He puffs out his chest. "But I _am_ a natural athlete. And it turns out, cycling isn't that different from flying, in terms of balance, adjusting your center of gravity and all that. So I sorted it out pretty quickly."

"Yes, yes, we get it. You're brilliant," she says with a dismissive wave. She's not really irritated, she's mostly taking the mickey, but it is a _little _frustrating how easily everything comes to him.

Maybe James senses her frustration, because he looks slightly chagrinned. "Yours was brilliant, too, you know. I love that song."

"Me, too," she says. She gives him a half-smile and a sigh. "But let's be honest, yours was better. You win."

"Indeed he does," Sirius says. He's made his way from the audience to the corridor that's serving as the staging area for the show. He hands Lily a folded slip of parchment with a sly smile. "And here is your bet. Remus and Mary approved it, too, so it should be all right. But I'll leave you two to discuss. Cheers."

"Cheers, mate," James says, as Sirius and Remus amble away. Lily nods absently as she unfolds the parchment, but her eyes narrow as she reads. She looks up at James with a glare.

"Did you put them up to this?" she demands. "I'm not doing this."

James shrugs and raises his eyebrows. "I tried to make some suggestions, but Sirius wouldn't hear it. He, Mary, and Remus came up with this one on their own. What's it say?"

She basically growls in frustration. "We should have set clearer boundaries before we let our _friends_ set the terms. I'm _not_ doing this," she repeats, waving the scrap of paper in his face.

"A bet's a bet, Evans," he says, but she shoots him a warning look. "Well—here, let me see it then," he says, and grabs the parchment from Lily's flailing hand. He looks at her and blinks, and she swears his cheeks go a bit red. "A…kiss."

"See? You can't expect me to—"

"No, of course not," James agrees quickly. "A kiss can't be part of a bet, not unless you chose it, of course. But it's got to be a personal choice, right? It's not some bloody transaction."

"Exactly! And it's not right for them to try to take advantage of this to push us together, or, or, or—achieve some _goal_ of yours, or—"

James' expression turns a bit sour at that. "Wow, Evans. Is that really what you think of them? Of me?" he asks, running a hand through his hair. There's hurt in his eyes, even though he tries to mask it. "No one here would try to make you do something against your will, I hope you know that."

"No, of course not!" Lily says hastily. They've confused everything, with this bet, but one thing she knows is that Potter isn't a pig. He's a bit of a prat sometimes and too cocky for his own good, but he's also hilarious and sort of thoughtful, really, though she's not going to tell him _that_. She sucks in a breath. "It's just—I don't want our first kiss to be out of obligation, I want—"

"Wait," James interrupts her, and now he looks anything but hurt. "You want us to have a first kiss?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You said you don't want our first kiss to be an obligation," he says slowly. He's full-on grinning at her, and she wishes he wouldn't. She likes that grin more than she cares to admit. It makes her want to smile back.

She folds her arms over her chest and sniffs. "Yes, I'm aware what I said. Your point?"

"Point is, that sounds like you do want to kiss me," James says, undeterred. He steps closer to her. "Just not as part of a bet."

"I'm not saying that." Lily is squirming now. "I just meant, this isn't how I imagined this would go."

The glint in his hazel eyes is positively wicked. "But you have imagined it?"

Lily hmphs, but she's still fighting a smile. "You're twisting my words."

"I'm just trying to read between the lines." She swears she can see all of his teeth at this point, his grin is so big. He ruffles his hair and takes another step towards her. "Because if you're telling me there might be some other time you're planning to kiss me and it could be everything you ever hoped it would, that's worth waiting for."

He's so close that she has to tilt her head up to properly look at his face. "That's not what I—"

"Shh." James puts a finger to Lily's lips and she trails off, blinking. His touch is so soft. Her lips part instinctively, and he leans towards her. But instead of landing on hers, his lips brush past her cheek and down to her ear.

"If you're not going to make good on the bet, Evans," he whispers, "the least you can do is leave me with a bit of hope. The promise of kisses to come." He straightens up with that infuriating, cocky, lovely, _sexy_ smirk.

For a moment, Lily forgets how to speak. James seems to like that, if the satisfied look on his face means anything. He winks at her – _again_ – then turns and walks away.

Lily stares after him. Long arms swing from broad shoulders and his gait is easy, confident. Like he has somewhere to be. He walks so purposefully that she almost feels like she should…follow. Almost.

Her mouth is still slightly open, and the urge to lick her lips overwhelms her. Her tongue lingers on the spot where James' finger had been.

_Well_, she thinks, as she stares at his back, _If I wasn't imagining our first kiss before, I certainly am now_.

...

AN: My second fic for Jilytober2019! More fluff and a bit of sexual tension. Let me know what you think! You can find me on tumblr as magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world, if you're interested.


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